How do you feel yourself? / General Talk about everything

[Jeanfan321]

Sorry to hear that Suigetsu hope you feel better.

In other new where am SCHOOL is done and i graduated middle school with a 3.8 GPA whoo!! now i have more time to work on Wind dancer,Karma, and Invisible Woman

[nuhverah]

I don't feel well today. No, really, I think I something bad, which kinda made me ill. I don't like this, cause whenever I have this problem, I can't anything or even drink as I used to (with this, I meant bottled water, you know, the one with the bubbles)

aww sorry to hear that dear, everybody does something bad, & most of the cases regretted it, but have faith, there's a reason behind everything..

Sorry to hear that Suigetsu hope you feel better.

In other new where am SCHOOL is done and i graduated middle school with a 3.8 GPA whoo!! now i have more time to work on Wind dancer,Karma, and Invisible Woman

Wow! Now that's what you call POWER! Congrats dear, 3.8 is a superb score, even I only got 3.5 this semester

[edward]

Rogue, i hope things get beter for you and trust me thats how i feel too. I am a really nerves person, and i am really scared of poeple. I hide it and no one knows this, not my coworkers, not my family, not even my own boyfriend. Right now i work as a clerk at a Ralphs food market store. And my number one dutie is too bag for people and greet them. But most of the time right before i ask them i get really nerves and scared, like a feeling that they are gonna do something bad too me. And I feel like a total loser, which gets to my depression. At high school i had really bad things going on, and my step-father was a big pain. The man was sick he had many mental problems, my mother worked taking care of him. There was time he was so nice, and then times when he was awful. Anyways i think that adds up to me being afraid of people. But i always try to remeber there is a lot of good people too. And there is always other people and worst siturations. But sometimes i don't know how long i could hide it.

[SuperNatural-Witch]

aww sorry to hear that dear, everybody does something bad, & most of the cases regretted it, but have faith, there's a reason behind everything..
Wow! Now that's what you call POWER! Congrats dear, 3.8 is a superb score, even I only got 3.5 this semester

3.8 and 3.5 DAMN!!! when I finish middle school all I had was  2.6; y'all some smart folks

[Nowhere Man]

oh, wow...lots of kindred spirits here. I'm also really afraid of people. mostly because I have been socially victimized as a child and teenager and noone ever did anything about it. my parents were perfectly aware of it and didn't protect me, didn't comfort me, they just kept criticizing me cause my grades started to drop A LOT. I mean, till the 2nd grade I was an A+ student. after that I started to fail every subject nearly every year. I remember there was a time I even brought knives to school cause I was so afraid of what might happen to me. Being a gay/nerd/fat (no longer fat though, actually very skinny) kid made me a target for everyone to persecute and mock me, including my own family. I've been through terapists nearly my entire life ever since I was 5. And none of them ever helped me either. Everyone always saying there's something wrong with me when there actually wasn't. The world just doesn't tolerate people who are different.

In given time I learned to accept me for who I am and see that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, but till this day I have a great perception that I'm not a lovable person. Like, I love myself, but that's it. I'll never get to be loved.

I'm no longer persecuted or anything, but I still always feel alone, have a very pessimistic view of the world and society in general. When I start liking someone I get obsessed, always kinda demanding big proofs that that person won't leave me alone, that I won't be abandoned again. And seeing any missed phone call as a great sign that I don't really matter to that someone. This constant need of validation end up pushing people who used to like me away from me. It's like I consume all the oxygen. That creates a vicious circle that I haven't managed to break to this day. I'm still trying to figure out what to do. And this happens to friends, I'm not talking about romance at all.

Now I'm 27, never been in a relashionship, pushed most my friends away and isolate myself in my room in order to be ok. Once I thought I was protecting myself from the pain, but now I realize that I just don't see rewards in actually interacting with people. Of course, at the moment, I'm in a low point, trying to figure things out. I'm not always this sad. But now the culmination of all that has happened to me is starting to happen and I'm not yet sure what will happen from now on.

This isolation has actually been constructive in several ways. I've had some amazing insights about life, myself and the world. Got to think about many things that most people don't get to think about. Gave me strength, cause I've managed to survive and overcome some very terrible events and moods that I have been in. Gave me ideals, ideas and self acceptance. But it's enough. I don't think I'm still learning anything. The time to break this pattern of thought and behaviour has come.

[Midnightphoenix]

oh, wow...lots of kindred spirits here. I'm also really afraid of people. mostly because I have been socially victimized as a child and teenager and noone ever did anything about it. my parents were perfectly aware of it and didn't protect me, didn't comfort me, they just kept criticizing me cause my grades started to drop A LOT. I mean, till the 2nd grade I was an A+ student. after that I started to fail every subject nearly every year. I remember there was a time I even brought knives to school cause I was so afraid of what might happen to me. Being a gay/nerd/fat (no longer fat though, actually very skinny) kid made me a target for everyone to persecute and mock me, including my own family. I've been through terapists nearly my entire life ever since I was 5. And none of them ever helped me either. Everyone always saying there's something wrong with me when there actually wasn't. The world just doesn't tolerate people who are different.

In given time I learned to accept me for who I am and see that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, but till this day I have a great perception that I'm not a lovable person. Like, I love myself, but that's it. I'll never get to be loved.

I'm no longer persecuted or anything, but I still always feel alone, have a very pessimistic view of the world and society in general. When I start liking someone I get obsessed, always kinda demanding big proofs that that person won't leave me alone, that I won't be abandoned again. And seeing any missed phone call as a great sign that I don't really matter to that someone. This constant need of validation end up pushing people who used to like me away from me. It's like I consume all the oxygen. That creates a vicious circle that I haven't managed to break to this day. I'm still trying to figure out what to do. And this happens to friends, I'm not talking about romance at all.

Now I'm 27, never been in a relashionship, pushed most my friends away and isolate myself in my room in order to be ok. Once I thought I was protecting myself from the pain, but now I realize that I just don't see rewards in actually interacting with people. Of course, at the moment, I'm in a low point, trying to figure things out. I'm not always this sad. But now the culmination of all that has happened to me is starting to happen and I'm not yet sure what will happen from now on.

This isolation has actually been constructive in several ways. I've had some amazing insights about life, myself and the world. Got to think about many things that most people don't get to think about. Gave me strength, cause I've managed to survive and overcome some very terrible events and moods that I have been in. Gave me ideals, ideas and self acceptance. But it's enough. I don't think I'm still learning anything. The time to break this pattern of thought and behaviour has come.

That sounds sad I hope you are ok, and I am sorry that you got pushed around D: Thats not right nobody, no matter how the person may be different, nobody ever deserves to be hurt in any way!

[Nowhere Man]

thanks for the support ^^

[Jeanfan321]

Wow that sounds horrible! It seems nobody likes anyone that is different.I honestly am not gay or bi but i dont have a problem with them.There human beings just like everybody else and deserve respect just like any other human.What makes even more sad is that even your OWN family mocked you and i find that tragic.If i get picked on or have a problem i go to my parents.It must be awful to have parents that would do such a thing. Nowhereman your a good,smart,nice, and very talented person.Don't let anyone tell you different.

[Nowhere Man]

Wow! thank you very much jeanfan. To be fair my parents came a long way from that time. Once I felt a gratuitus and instense hostility from them, but now, looking back, they were very worried. they weren't exactly mocking me, they were judging me constantly by their standards and were concerned about my future and the expectations they had for me since b4 I was even born. I actually think that having me for a child made them expand their standards, break their paradigms. I see in my own way I helped them grow. Not that I haven't suffered a lot, but they do love me and, nowadays, are very supportive to the best of their abilities. They may not be able to understand me, but at least they are trying, and that's already a lot.

[Midnightphoenix]

Wow that sounds horrible! It seems nobody likes anyone that is different.I honestly am not gay or bi but i dont have a problem with them.There human beings just like everybody else and deserve respect just like any other human.What makes even more sad is that even your OWN family mocked you and i find that tragic.If i get picked on or have a problem i go to my parents.It must be awful to have parents that would do such a thing. Nowhereman your a good,smart,nice, and very talented person.Don't let anyone tell you different.

I agree 100%

[edward]

I feel bad for you Nowhere Man. Well today at work I decided to push my confidence to its highest, and surprisely it went really well. I not only greeted people, I would ask them question or comment on something about them and all of them replied and stuff.

[Nowhere Man]

Good for you edward! I know it must have been tough to growup with what seems to be a bipolar step father, but you've grown up, remember that. you'll never be that vulnerable and defenseless again. that's my new mantra ^^

EDIT: wow, just read what I wrote. Have I been watching too much Oprah? LOL

[edward]

Thanks Nowhere Man, like users have mention you seem like a really nice guy, I don't really understand how someone as smart as you sound has this kind of problems. Everyone gotta remeber emotions change as fast as a blink of an eye.

[Rogue]

@ Nowhere Man.

My God! I read your words and find out myself! Every word, every feeling ... I like you  afraid very much of people. (Are they people in general? They are the beast.) Nobody thinks about higher values, self-improvement. I do not understand people and they do not understand me too.
In my mind boils the real storm! But no one knows that! I cann't reveal to anyone ...
Yeah.... I had the friends. But they were the same as all. So I moved away from them. We are different people ....

I'm afraid of people and this world ... Really.

Perhaps, if I had any power, all would be afraid of me. and I would feel better and more confident.
The world of a fantasy  is much closer to me, than the real life.

[LX - Rampage]

A moment ago, I was like checking the unread topics, and I'm like: "Dang!" It was like 10 or more spam threads, from the very same person! It's sad, that there isn't any real solution for not letting in spammers, but letting the normal people enter