I'm not trying to disregard the fact he has had relationships with other women. What I mean is unless you're a hardcore fan, when you think of either Polaris or Iceman you do not think of the other etc, so its not a stretch for these relationships to be explained as failed attempts in is past of trying to making relationships with women work. I do agree that him being bi-sexual would have eased the fan-base into a drastic change more easily.
Anyway, I agree with everything you have written, I just wish some comic fans were as level headed in their approach to these things as you are being. Obliviously there will be people who complain no matter what, but yes time does help.
Thanks for the sharing that personal story, I do think it helps in realizing that someone being gay does not change who they are suddenly. And I also think it's good you stuck by your story with your books.
I also agree that Jean Grey outing Iceman was bizarrely out of character and was stupid. But I also think in his own series they have handled his sexuality well and realistically so there is that.
At the end of the day people will get over it, the strides in acceptance of LBGTQ people in the last decade have been very rapid and I think and hope it will also get better over time.