Chuck Norris jokes

[BLaw]

Chuck norris can turn dust into a deadly weapon without altering it's properties.
Chuck makes sandwiches with a needle.
Chuck's voice can make you deaf. Wait I see my mom talking but can't hear her, brb.

[Larcetin]

Chuck Norris bit into the Apple-Apple.

[BLaw]

Nobody knows it, but I do.. Chuck's hideout is at the center of the Bermuda Triangle.

Everytime Chuck holds his thumb up, he shoots down another alien.

Chuck only wants 15 feet tall icebergs in his Ice tea, which he cuts down himself.

[ReverseNegative]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his Dad.

[the master$$$]

lol loved the dad one
i saw this one once:

when bruce banner gets angry he transforms into hulk,when hulk gets angry he transforms in chuck norris

[BLaw]

Chuck doesn't want to be named "The Legendary", because that's old news.

Chuck doesn't need to remove make up after shooting movies: he kung fu chops it all off.

Chuck Norris pity's the devil, for it was he who roundhouse kicked the devil back to hell.

While Chuck's army is behind enemy's lines, Chuck himself is behind enemy's behinds.

Even the almighty Zeus fears the power of Chuck Norris, because he can hit faster than lightning.

Chuck Norris is the ultimate macho man, cuz he can talk the talk and Texas Walk the walk.

Chuck Norris was not casted for any of the scroodge films/movies because he knocked all ghosts out before they reached him.

Chuck Norris is so dangerous, he killed the wooden stake with a Dracula. Go figure

[Shauny7488]

When Chuck Norris is in the bedroom, he doesn't teabag the ladies, he potato sacks them.

[Nowhere Man]

whenever someone says "Chuck Norris" a fairy get it's nuclear warhead

Chuck's first girlfriend was Eve. She hooked up with him after Chuck ripped Adam's rib from his chest.

Chuck never wanted to be God cause God always does what Chuck says.

YOU wear Superman pijamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pijamas.

The large poppulation of China is Chuck's fault. Once his jet flew over China and all women there got impregnated.

[Sazandra125]

Chuck norris doesn't churn butter, he just kicks the cow and butter comes straight out.
There is no ctrl button on chuck's computer, because he is always in control
Alien vs Predator was originally going to be Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris but the writers then realized no one would pay for a movie that lasts only 10 seconds.
Chuck Norris has two walking speeds: walk and kill.
Chuck Norris was once denied an egg mcmuffin at Mcdonalds because it was 10:31.  Chuck then Roundhouse kicked the building so hard it became a Wendys
Chuck Norris ordered a big mac at burger king and got one.
Once every year on his birthday Chuck Norris selects one lucky kid to be thrown into the sun.